


It goes without saying

by euadnes



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Let's just say it is, almost canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 03:50:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18652321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euadnes/pseuds/euadnes
Summary: What if everything stayed the same except Steve chose to do one thing differently at the end. Obviously don't read if you haven't seen the movie, otherwise it won't make much sense.anyway here's an endgame fix-it





	It goes without saying

When Bucky heard the words, "I have to go back," he already knew the intention behind Steve's message. It didn't even need saying.

"Tony is dead. It's gotta be me."

They were on the jet, parked by the lake at Stark's house. The sun had just risen over the tree line and the water was a soft eggshell blue. Inexplicably, Bucky felt a wave of sorrow wash over him. To his right, Sam heaved a sigh. "When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow. And I can't ask you come with me, Sam. I've already done this once. Besides, I'm in and out, real fast. You won't even know I'm gone."

Bullshit, Rogers.

Bruce Banner stood nearby, checking something with a lot of numbers on a large blue screen. He looked up at them briefly and then turned away. Bucky could tell he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. Didn't they all.

"It's going to take a while for me to set up the system here," Banner stated. "I know Tony's got enough equipment for me to use, but I'll need help getting it outside."

"Of course," Steve said and nodded at the two men to follow.

But while Sam was occupied with helping Banner raid Stark's underground storage in a small backyard shed, Steve took Bucky aside and said, "Hey Buck, can I talk to you for a moment?"

Bucky felt his stomach drop.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

It was Bucky who suggested that Steve should give Sam the shield.

"What, you don't think you're the only one who wants to retire? That's a little selfish of you." Bucky joked while Steve stared at him, wide-eyed. He laughed suddenly and scrubbed a hand down his face.

"No I just-" Steve smiled at Bucky then. Warm and true. "You're right."

"Steve, I don't want it. I'll be there for him, don't worry. But I don't think that your friends trust me enough for that yet."

"Buck."

This time Bucky smiled. "It's fine." His friend gave him a sorrowful smile back, red rimmed eyes shining.

"We'll be fine."

It was a lie.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

There was always a deeper understanding between the two of them, some unseen connection that ran deep for years. They were both aware of it, always had been. Before the war, the serum. Before everything.

Bucky knew that fact still rang true. It became apparent to him as soon as the CIA task force came barging into his apartment and he and Steve fell back into rhythm like it was 1945 and they were storming Nazi bunkers again. You couldn't fake a connection like that. Not after so much time apart.

They were both different people now, they both wanted different things. Steve didn't say those things out loud, thank god. If he did, Bucky might have just punched him then and there. Right in those stupid blue sad eyes of his.

It was bullshit anyways.

But then again Bucky did on occasion consider himself a human lie detector set specifically to Steve's bullshit frequency.

"I've thought of this before. God knows it's all I thought about when I woke up in New York. Before I even knew you were alive. It just wasn't possible before."

Bucky zoned out when Steve started talking about second chances, thinking it best that he shouldn’t listen too carefully to avoid an outburst of anger slowly rising within him. _I sure could give you a speech about second chances, pal_. But he sat through it, feigning an attentive posture as he stared down at the blue and red disc seated next to Steve.

"I'm not taking the shield, Steve."

"I'm not asking you to anymore."

"Ah. Right."

Tension filled silence. And then, "I hope you understand, Buck."

As much as he didn't want to, for all of him was yelling out in protest, Bucky did understand. He knew Steve before he knew himself after all.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Bucky played his role, said his parting words. They shared a brief hug. If Sam or Banner thought they were being theatrical at all, they didn't say anything.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fucking fair at all.

They were tired. He could see what Steve had done to get here, to bring everyone back. He knew Steve deserved nothing less than this. He wasn't going to take that choice away. Even if that meant a broken heart at his own expense.

Steve stepped onto the platform and turned to face them. His expression stern and resolute but when his eyes found Bucky's, they were soft and apologetic. And just like that, Bucky was struggling to compose himself.

_Just hang in there for five more seconds, just for that long and then he'll be gone_ , he told himself. Then Banner started counting.

"In five…four…"

Out of the corner of his eye, Bucky could see Sam's chin lift. Steve smiled at his friend and nodded. God, Sam doesn't even suspect a thing. _This is wrong. This is so wrong-_

"…three…two…"

Steve's eyes swiveled back to him and Bucky held his gaze to the last second and maybe now he could finally read Bucky's inner turmoil written clear as day on his face because suddenly Steve looked shockingly miserable. A loud hum was muting everything around them, to the point that Bucky's eardrums were starting to ache and he could no longer hear the birds or the lapping of water on the shore behind them but he could hear Steve's voice from such a long time ago-

"…one."

_I'm with you til the end of the line._

The humming grew in crescendo and a loud crack of electricity and sparks filled his peripheral and as if a bolt of lighting came out of thin air and wiped out his existence, Steve was gone.

Banner didn't even miss a beat. He poked his computer screen several times, flipped some switches behind him.

"And bringing him back in five…four…three…two…"

Bucky turned away then. He didn't want to see their confusion or the panic in Sam's face when the machine remained dark.

A loud _ZAP_ interrupted the silence behind him.

There was harsh breathing coming from somewhere and a brief whooping from Sam. Bucky, however, couldn't find his own breath. _There was no way._

He turned around. Steve was standing there, or half-standing really. One knee was on the platform, the other bent and he was barely keeping balance with one hand on the floor. He looked how Bucky felt, shaky and a little worse for wear. His suit was a great deal dirtier than it as 10 seconds ago, smudged with soot or space dust or god knows what else he faced. On his face was a couple days' worth of stubble. He was panting and pushed himself fully to his feet with quaking limbs. "I couldn't do it."

Bucky knew he was addressing him and that the others were not aware of this. He took a half step towards the platform, not quite feeling his legs as he did so. Behind Steve, Banner looked mortified.

"You couldn't - but where are the stones?"

"No. No, I returned the stones. I finished it." He stepped off the platform and towards Bucky.

"Then what are you talking-" Banner stammered.

Sam held up a hand in Banner's direction to quiet him, his eyes never leaving Steve. He was smiling.

"I couldn't go through with it. I'm sorry."

"I know." Bucky could feel his eyes welling up.

"I don't know what I was thinking."

"Okay."

"I'm so sorry. I never should have said - Bucky, I swear -"

"Okay."

"Bucky. I'm sorry."

"Okay."

They met halfway, stumbling towards each other. Steve babbling and eyes large and blue and sad like Bucky always remembered them during those awful months on the run. He braced his hands on Steve's shoulders to steady them both and tipped his head forward until his forehead was resting against Steve's. They stood like that, Bucky shaken to the core and crying and holding Steve up.

"It's okay."

Over Steve's shoulder Bucky could see the lake. The reflection of the clouds on the water filled him with a sense of peace. As Steve buried his face in Bucky's neck and breathed deeply, Bucky knew they would be alright. It was the most sure he felt in years.

It took a lot for them to be here. Decades of darkness and not knowing. Cryo and healing and coming back from the dead again. Just so they could have this. They have years to figure it out now. Whatever this was between them, it didn't need saying.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a few days since I've seen the movie so please forgive me if some of the detail or dialogue is wrong. Also this is the first marvel fic I've written in literal years and i'm screaming on the inside in panic. Thanks for reading. Kudos or comments or always welcome <3


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